And here’s our report from Goodison.
Here’s our Carabao Cup roundup
Everton 3-0 Salford City
Everton go away to Fleetwood Town next.
“Okay, I haven’t a clue as to what the Northampton/ Villa/ Charlton/ Liverpool thing is all about,” says Geoff Wignall. “But I reckon the shortest name must now be Fulham and by my reckoning, three clubs with an x factor (Exeter, Oxford and Crewe) .
Clubs whose name starts and ends with the same letter. And yes, we’ve lost Halifax and Wrexham from the Xs.
Gordon’s played well in the second half. He’s quick and has plenty of confidence.
Everton hit the post twice! Kenny crosses well from the left and Kean leaps well, cracking a header into the upright, then Gordon lashes the rebound straight back into it!
Incidentally, Duncan Ferguson is in the ground. Eeek.
GOAL! Everton 3-0 Salford City (Kean pen 87)
Kean does some high pigeon-steps, leaps, and as Hladky goes left, he sweeps high into the middle!
Penalty to Everton!
Gordon skates towards the line and Bruno Andrade can’t help but dangle a leg from the wrong side, and that’s a clear penalty. Moise Kean immediately grabs the ball.
That was exciting! It’s always funny when a team fight their way back at the last, only to lose anyway, and that’s what happened there. In fairness to Hull, they were by far the better side.
Alfie Jones scores! Hull City beat Leeds United 9-8 on penalties after a 1-1 draw!
They visit West Ham next.
Leeds 8-8 Hull
Ingram saves from Shackleton! If Hull score their next one, they win!
Leeds 8-8 Hull
Batty scores for Hull!
Leeds 8-7 Hull
Casilla scores for Leeds!
Leeds 7-7 Hull
Someone scores for Hull!
Leeds 7-6 Hull
Gotts scores for Leeds!
Leeds 6-6 Hull
Chadwick scores for Hull!
Leeds 6-5 Hull
Davis scores for Leeds!
Leeds 5-5 Hull
McLoughlin smashes in for Hull!
Leeds 5-4 Hull
Sudden death it is, and Struijk scores for Leeds!
Leeds 4-4 Hull
Mayer drills down the middle for Hull!
Leeds 4-3 Hull
Douglas scores for Leeds!
Leeds 3-3 Hull
Scott scores for Hull!
Leeds 3-2 Hull
Leeds 2-2 Hull
Casilla saves from Coyle! Back even!
Leeds 2-2 Hull
Roberts scores for Leeds!
GOAL! Everton 2-0 Salford City (Sigurdsson 74)
Nkounkou goes down the left, finds Gordon, and Sigurdsson punches home his cross to finish things.
Leeds 1-2 Hull
Jones scores for Hull!
Leeds 1-1 Hull
Alioski misses! Football you absolute bitch!
Oh great. My stream has vanished, but it’s 1-1 on penalties...
There’s still not much going on at Goodison, and Ancelotti is getting noised up as a consequence.
Hull scored all five penalties in beating Sunderland in the last round; Leeds didn’t manage a shot on target during the first 89 minutes of this game.
Full-time: Leeds United 1-1 Hull City
They’ll now take penalties for the “privilege” of visiting the London Stadium.
GOAL! Leeds United 1-1 Hull City (Alioski 90+3)
What a finish! Leeds force a couple of corners, and when the second isn’t cleared, the ball ends up running across Alioski, who swivels onto it and screws a brilliant left-footed finish high into the far top corner! Hull should’ve been sorted ages ago, and that’s what happens when you miss your chances.
Full-time: Southampton 0-2 Brentford
The Bees are away to West Brom next.
Full-time: Bristol City 4-0 Northampton Town
City play Villa next.
Four additional minutes at Elland Road.
And which teams have an x in their name?
“If you’re doing updates on ancient quiz questions,” says Andrew Goudie, “who has taken over Bury’s claim to fame of having the shortest name in the league?”
GOAL! Bristol City 4-0 Northampton Town (Palmer 88)
That’s two goals and an assist for yerman.
Hull should finish it! Docherty sends Scott in through the middle, but his finish is tentative and Casilla blocks it behind. Three minutes of the 90 remaining.
At Goodison, Wilson goes down the right and digs out a cross that Hunter heads down ... only for Towell to leather over the top! That was as good a chance as Salford are getting.
“Do you know what’s the case with Northampton,” says Simon Dobinson. “I do know if the other three clubs are Liverpool, Aston Villa and Charlton Athletic?”
There you go. We used to have York City, might get Solihull Moors one day, and Scotland has Dundee United, Kilmarnock, and Celtic if you don’t call them Glasgow Celtic.
GOAL! Bristol City 3-0 Northampton Town (Semenyo 82)
Even more all over at Ashton Gate. Semenyo missed a decent chance a few minutes ago, but quickly made up for it, collecting Palmer’s backheel and scoring at the second attempt.
“Genesis of Psalm 23 at West Brom?” says Tom Levesley? “It’s all down to an Everton game, and look who we’re playing on Saturday...”
Thanks very much.
While that was going on, Hull almost scored again at Leeds, but I didn’t quite see what happened.
Sigurdsson swings over a lovely cross, and Kean is up ... but he heads wide! That was not a good effort, and it’s extremely lucky Duncan Ferguson isn’t in the immediate vicinity.
“Is the answer that Northampton have a dragon on their crest?” asks Kári Tulinius. “I can think of two others, Carlisle and Leyton Orient, but I’ll admit the third is escaping my memory.”
I guess it is an answer if there’s another one, but otherwise, it’s good but it’s not right.
At Elland Road, Hull are enjoying most of the ball.
Off we go again...
At Goodison, the Everton players are back with us. Salford are still in the dressing room.
Twenty minutes to go at Elland Road, with Hull looking at least as likely to score.
Docherty attacks the Leeds box and unleashes a drive, but it’s too close to Casilla, who dives to paw it away. He made that look a lot harder than it was.
Do you know what’s the case with Northampton that’s only so of three other clubs among the 92?
It’s still Southampton 0-2 Brentford and Bristol City 2-0 Northampton Town.
Leeds haven’t created much tonight – I guess we’ll see how bothered Bielsa is by how many changes he makes. So far, he’s only brought Struik on for Casey.
“From Carabao to Qarabag in the Champions League,” says Kevin Porter, “as Norwegians, Molde eliminate their Azerbaijani hosts in an epic penalty shoot-out. After 11 successive successful penalties, the unfortunate Huysenov fails from the spot.”
That sounds glorious.
Half-time: Everton 1-0 Salford City
Everton started well but have slowed down since, and though Salford haven’t created anything, they’re still in the game, which is all they’d have really wanted.
Gary Nev reckons his manager will be irritated that Salford conceded from a set-piece, but I guess it’s not just an issue of organisation, but of skill – focus is a skill, and so is crossing and heading.
Back in Leeds, Poveda scuttle-dashes into the box between two challenges, but runs out position just as he’s ready to shoot. He’s looked lively since half-time.
Full-time: Ipswich Town 0-1 Fulham
Mitrovic’s first-half header is enough to earn a third-round home tie with Sheffield Wednesday.
Bernard is enjoying himself at Goodison, twinkling inside and rasping a curler that Hladky tips around the post.
Rodrigo is putting himself about now. I’m not sure why, but I’m feeling big Soldado vibes from him.
At Elland Road, Hull have started the second half really strongly.
There’s not a lot going on at Goodison, which is great for Salford, who’d love to trail 1-0 going into the last 10.
We’re also back underway at St Mary’s and Elland Road.
We’re playing injury-time at Portman Road; can Ipswich find an equaliser?
I’d forgotten that Everton are sponsored by Hummel. Other Hummel efforts...
Bit of possession for Salford, but they can’t make anything of it.
He looks extremely displeased with things, and is replaced by Digne.
Branthwaite is down, having landed awkwardly when clipping a pass back home. It’s never good to see a player go down with no one near, but it looks a strain, not anything more sinister.
At Portman Road, Fulham still lead Ipswich 1-0, with 13 minutes to go.
We’ve got Carragher and Neville back2back on Sky, and Neville emits an odd noise when one of his defenders plays a dodgy square ball that Bernard almost intercepts. “Is that the opposite of the goalgasm,” his mate inquires.
At OT, England need wickets, because Australia are well up with the rate. Catch the official end of the summer with Tim de Lisla.
Half-time: Leeds 0-1 Hull
Decent game, this one. Hull could’ve scored more, but Leeds also look dangerous.
Half-time: Southampton 0-2 Brentford
This one is almost over!
GOAL! Southampton 0-2 Brentford (Da Silva 45+1)
Da Silva drives home; lucky Southampton played their first XI, because how many would they be losing by otherwise?
GOAL! Bristol City 1-0 Northampton Town (Martin 42)
Eliasson crosses, Semenyo knocks it back from beyond the back post, and Martin is there to nod home his first goal for the club.
Everton are looking decent under Ancelotti – their first XI has some proper players, and because of how they’ve strengthened, the squad players are also decent. And here’s one of them, Tom Davies taking the ball off Walcott and lashing a low shot just wide.
At Love Street, Celtic now lead St Mirren 2-1, Forrest and Duffy with the goals.
GOAL! Southampton 0-1 Brentford (Norgaard 40)
A few minutes after Danny Ings hits the post for Southampton, Norgaard thuds home a header from Mbeumo’s corner.
In commentary, Gary Neville was saying that what we saw Gordon do is a what can happen to a diamond – there’s very little midfield cover for the full-backs.
GOAL! Everton 1-0 Salford City (Keane 8)
Sigurdsson curls flat and hard towards the near post and Keane arrives to jump all over Turnbull, powering a header past Hladky.
Lovely from Gordon, who gets the ball out on the left, sticks it behind his man and screeches after it, crossing low to win a corner...
“I’m not sure if the owners had a word,” says Andrew Goudie, but Salford ‘rested’ most of their first team in that 6-0 drubbing by Manchester United.”
Yeah, I think four of tonight’s starters started that one.
Nice from Bernard, who curves in a cross towards Walcott at the far post ... but Walcott sort of turns his body while getting under the ball, heading over from six yards.
At Elland Road, Wilks suddenly finds space and drives towards the Leeds box, prodding a low shot that Casilla saves down to his left.
Pre-match, Danny Weber was also talking about James Wilson – also ex-United, he does some work for MUTV and will know exactly how good he should now be. But points out that he’s only scored one goal for the club, and time is running out.
Everton knock it about, Salford sit off.
I love Goodison, one of the last great grounds. I’m sure the new version will be dead fancy, but it won’t have the same character.
At Goodison, the players take a knee. All black lives matter, people.
At Elland Road, Leeds are pushing.
The players are coming out...
Ancelotti says this competition is important for Everton, and he wants fresh legs on the pitch, as well as an opportunity for players to prove themselves to him. Graham Alexander, meanwhile, says whoever Everton pick, they’re up against a quality side and his players need to focus on what they’re trying to do. He has confidence in them, but they’re a new side, so are learning about each other.
On Salford, it’s worth noting that they’ve never played Premier League position, and just last week were walloped 6-0 at home by Man United’s u23 side. In fairness, that had some serious talent in it – Dylan Levitt is already a full international, Ethan Laird will play for United’s first team, and Hannibal Mejbri will be a star - but still, not great.
As for Everton, Virginia and Nkounkou make their debuts. Keane is the only survivor from the weekend, and Jamie Redknapp talks about how much he’s looking forward to watching Anthony Gordon, who plays midfield and says he’s a big talent.
Looking at that Salford team, it’s really surprising to see James Wilson in it. He was absolutely brilliant in Man United’s youth team and reserves, not as good as Mason Greenwood but not miles off. But for whatever reason, it’s not quite worked out for him, which is a shame – he had great pace, a brilliant leap, and composure in front of goal, scoring twice on his United debut.
Elsewhere, it’s cooking at OT.
On which point, the appointment of Neil Lennon seemed a real retrograde step. What new ideas was he ever going to bring?
In Scotland, Celtic trail St Mirren 1-0. If they lose that, they’ll be six points behind Rangers already.
Kyle Edwards is man of the match. He seems like a lot of fun, and here’s his latest single. Yes, you read that correctly.
West Brom will play Southampton or Brentford next.
“If I had a guess I’d say the reason why there’s a banner (and why they sing) The Lord is my shepherd at West Brom,” says JR in Illinois, “is the same reason why the national rugby team supporters sing the old slave spiritual Swing Low, Sweet Chariot: English people are really weird.”
I cannot argue.
Full-time: West Brom 3-0 Harrogate Town
That was a decent performance from West Brom, and Slaven Bilic has a couple of players, Edwards and Harper in particular, pressing for weekend selection.
Half-time: Ipswich Town 0-1 Fulham
Fulham could use a win here, because they looked mles out of their depth at the weekend.
GOAL! Leeds 0-1 Hull (Wilks 5)
Hull’s press wins possession and Wilks finds Honeyman, who gives him the ball back, and his shot is deflected home.
I don’t get why the FA don’t require all clubs to pay into a fund to be used for bailing out clubs. It’s true that it might encourage owners to speculate, but that too can be regulated, and anyone doing anything stupid can be kicked out. We can’t have fans and communities losing their heritage and identity because people are idiots, or because corona is an idiot.
And in related news...
After Macc’s demise, more terrible news, in exclusive form.
Everton also change everything, but have plenty on the bench should they make an everton of things. James Rodriguez, though, is spared – I wonder what he’s up to tonight – while I did not know that Darr-on Gibs-on played for Salford these days.
Everton: Virgina, Kenny, Keane, Branthwaite, Nkounkou, Davies, Sigurdsson, Davies, Walcott, Gordon, Bernard, Kean. Subs: Pickford, Allan, Richarlison, Calvert-Lewin, Digne, Doucoure, Coleman.
Salford City: Hladky, Threlkeld, Turnbull, Eastham, Touray, Towell, Lowe, Hunter, Wilson, Henderson, Thomas-Asante. Subs: Armstrong, Gibson, Elliott, Andrade, Denny, Evans, Golden.
Back to Leeds, Marcelo Bielsa makes 11 changes from the defeat at Anfield, which makes sense. His first team is decent, but beneath that he doesn’t have the strength in depth other teams do, and his priority is staying up and finishing as high as he can.
Tangentially, we see some classic Bielsa in Especial 20 Años de Fútbol de Primera, a show currently on Netflix, celebrating 20 years of Argentina’s most popular football highlights show. I cannot recommend it enough – the hair, clobber and celebrations are absolutely top-notch, before we’ve even thought about the football.
GOAL! Ipswich Town 0-1 Fulham (Mitrovic 38)
Tete crosses from the left, and Mitrovic powers home a birthday header.
GOAL! West Brom 3-0 Harrogate Town (Robinson 77)
Lovely from Kyle Edwards, diddling his man on the left touchline and haring into the box before sliding across to give Robinson a tap-in. Done and done.
Leeds United: Casilla, Davis, Casey, Cresswell, Douglas, Bogusz, Poveda, Shackleton, Roberts, Alioski, Rodrigo. Subs: Meslier, Bamford, Struik, Harrison, Phillips, McCalmont, Gotts.
Hull City: Ingram, Coyle, Jones, McLoughlin, Elder, Docherty, Batty, Wilks, Honeyman, Lewis-Potter, Scott. Subs: Emmanuel, Samuelsen, Mayer, Greaves, Chadwick, Cartwright, Jones.
Bristol City: O’Leary, Vyner, Kalas, Mawson, Sessegnon, Bakinson, Nagy, Eliasson, Palmer, Martin, Semenyo. Subs: Bentley, Diedhiou, Weimann, Wells, Moore, Rowe Brunt.
Northampton Town: Mitchell, Racic, Bolger, Horsfall, Harriman, Missilou, Watson, Martin, Hoskins, Chukwuemeka, Ashley-Seal. Subs: Arnold, Lines, Roberts, Warburton, Mills, Johnston, Marshall.
So Ralph Hasenhuttl goes strong, which seems a decent plan to me – it’s an opportunity to get players fit for the league, if nothing else.
Southampton: McCarthy, Walker-Peters, Stephens, Bednarek, Bertrand, Tella, Ward-Prowse, Romeu, Redmond, Adams, Ings. Subs: Vestergaard, Long, Djenepo, Obafemi, Smallbone, Vokins, Forster.
Brentford: Daniels, Dalsgaard, Goode, Bech Sorensen, Thompson, Baptise, Norgaard, Dasilva, Mbeumo, Forss, Fosu. Subs: Henry, Pinnock, Marcondes, Dervisoglu, Zamburek.
This bazzer was also on heavy rotation.
“Thanks for the preamble tunes,” emails Peter Oh. “Here is a song that the Cup sponsors probably frown on, because the chorus includes a line that sounds suspiciously like ‘I don’t Carabao that’.”
That tune was in the charts the first time I had access to MTV, staying in a (nasty) hotel without my parents for the first time. What a video!
There’s not a whole lot going on at the Hawthorns, so let’s have a look at the teams elsewhere.
Robson-Kanu is replaced by Sawyers, while Harrogate send Beck on for Stead.
The teams in full...
Ipswich Town: Cornell, Donacien, Nsiala, Wilson, Kenlock, Nolan, Dozzell, Huws, Edwards, Hawkins, Dobra. Subs: Holy, Chambers, Norwood, Bishop, Judge, Sears, Downes.
Fulham: Areola, Tete, Odoi, Le Marchand, Robinson, Zambo Angissa, Lemina, Reid, Knockaert, Kebano, Mitrovic. Subs: Hector, Cairney, Cavaleiro, Reed, Bryan, Fabri, Francois.
I love this.
They’re underway at Portman Road, where it’s still Ipswich 0-0 Fulham.
West Brom send on Matt Phillips for Kamil Grosicki, who shakes his head ruefully.
Yes, that is “Stead” as in “John Stead”.
These are our teams, by the way:
West Brom: Button, Peltier, Kipre, O’Shea, Townsend, Grosicki, Field, Harper, Edwards, Austin, Robson-Kanu. Subs: Furlong, Ajayi, Robinson, Phillips, Sawyers, Bond, Soule.
Harrogate Town: Cracknell, Fallowfield, Smith, Hall, Burrell, Thomson, Falkingham, Kerry, Muldoon, Beck, Martin. Subs: Jones, Kiernan, Kirby, Stead, Walker, Minter, Lokko.
It’s all West Brom at the moment – Grosicki’s free-kick has just flashed across the face of the goal, and someone ought really to have turned it in, while a few minutes earlier, Edwards’ low cross skated across the box.
And the OG version.
A modern version of the same...
Can someone please tell me why West Brom have a banner reading “The Lord is my shepherd” over a couple of blocks of seats?
It’s looking comfortable for West Brom – two goals in four minutes, from Rekeem Harper and Hal Robson-Kanu, have put them in command against Harrogate Town, making their debut in this competition. They looked a very smart side when I saw them in the playoff final, and they’ve played pretty well tonight, but two excellent finishes have pretty much finished the tie.
Evening everyone, and welcome to another night of energy drink shenanigans. Also, why isn’t the plural of shenanigan shenaniga?
Anyway, this is what we’ve got for youse the night:
West Bromwich Albion 2-0 Harrogate Town (6pm, currently half-time)
Ipswich Town v Fulham (7pm)
Southampton v Brentford (7.45pm)
Bristol City v Northampton Town (7.45pm)
Leeds United v Hull City (7.45pm)
Everton v Salford City (8.15pm)
AND IT’S LIVE!